Some Jokes

A woman was paying for some intems in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said," I bet you're a single, aren't you? "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know that?" "Because you're really very ugly," replied the man.

How to impress a woman:

Compliment her,kiss her,caress her,love her,comfort her,protect her,hug her,by gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of ther earth for her.

How to impress a man:

Arrive naked......... with beer.

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Soak it in petrol and thow it on the fire

A young man with a wild and multi-coloured hairstyle sits to an old man on a park bench.

The old man stares at the young man. "Waht's the matter, old man?" says the young man."Never done anything crazy in your life?"

The old man replies: " Yeah. When I was in the Navy, I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I thought you might be my son."